My Overdue Date
I had a homebirth before, but not a water birth. I had everything prepped and ready to go. The birth pool and all the birthing equipment was set up in our guest room. I had 3 girls and I had all of them a few days earlier than my due date. I was sure that this pregnancy would be the same, so I was prepared early.
My parents and two younger brothers were coming June 26th, and my due date was June 17th. I thought by the time they got here my newborn would be a week or two old. I had some people teasing me that I would wait for my mom before I’d have her. I laughed and told them that there was no way that would happen.
I would have some contractions in the night and think maybe this is it. But then morning would come and the contractions would stop and I knew it wouldn’t be that day. People would ask if I thought that day would be the day and by my frustrated shrug and I don’t know response, I think for my sake, they mostly stopped asking.
My due date came and still no sign of labour. I actually started to feel like I was going backwards. I felt less and less pregnant. I tried everything. From bouncing on a big exercise ball, eating spicy foods, pineapple smoothies, stair climbing, walking, meditating, wearing a rebozo scarf, listening to positive affirmations, just to name a few. I was feeling exhausted and frustrated. I’d had an ultrasound a few weeks earlier and they said she was measuring 7lbs 11 oz then. How could she not be here already? I thought my body would know what it was doing by now, but apparently not. I thought maybe the dating scan was just off. But how off could they have possibly been?
Nobody likes to admit it, but everybody plans everything around the “due date”. When the baby doesn’t come on their due date, then you get confused and don’t know what to do. You know you’re not supposed to worry because it’s normal and most babies don’t actually come on their due date. But then again, I kept mopping the floor thinking this will be the last time before I have the baby. But then I found myself mopping the floor again and again. I wanted the house and everything in it to be in order before I went into labour, but as each day passed I grew more and more anxious waiting for her arrival. I was afraid to go out to the store by myself because what if I go into labour then and I was all by myself or I’d be driving myself? What if my labor went quickly and I ended up having her on the floor like those YouTube videos I saw. You just never know what’s going to happen and that’s probably the worst part; not knowing.
I was feeling super emotional. I had another midwife appointment and we discussed an induction date. My parents were coming into town and I still hadn’t had the baby. Since we had the pool set up in the guest room we had to move it to the office downstairs. I had a choice. To pack it all up and plan on going to the hospital for the birth or to redo our office room downstairs to make room for the birth pool and equipment. My husband was so supportive and rearranged everything to make room so I could still have the baby in our home.
The day came that my parents were to arrive. It was a beautiful day and so my husband was watching our girls playing in the garden. I braved my fears and went to the store to get a few things we would need for the week. When I pulled back into my driveway I saw my parent’s rental car. I got out and saw my brothers first, whom I hadn’t seen since we’d left the States almost two years before, so I broke down crying and hugged them. I then saw my mom, then my dad and I greeted them each with a long embrace. We talked a little and laughed that I was still pregnant. My dad took a picture of my mom and I standing together outside. We had dinner, went to church, then finished that evening sitting around the table eating dessert. That’s when my contractions started. They weren’t hard, but they were lasting a min long and starting to come regularly. That night I bounced on my exercise ball while we watched a movie and drank a pineapple smoothies. Then we went to bed.
At 2am, I woke up with a strong contraction. I got my phone out and used my contraction timer app to start recording how often they were happening and how intense each one was. 10 min apart. Lasted 50 sec. Mild. 9 min 40 sec apart. Lasted 58 sec. Moderate...This went on for an hour then as each hour passed the contractions would get harder and longer and a min less apart then before.
By 4 am, I went downstairs and got all my things ready. I got my diffuser with lavender, my exercise ball, grabbed my headphones and phone with my hypnobirthing app, my Spotify “Baby” music playlist with my favorite songs, and turned on my fairy lights I had draped across a mirror hanging on the wall. I was in the zone. Focused on my breathing through each contraction and listening to the music helped.
By 5 am, my contractions were coming 5 to 6 min apart so I phoned the midwife unit. A lady answered and told me that another lady had just come in and was in labour. She asked if I had taken anything for my pain and when I said no she told me that I should take some and see if that helped. Then she asked me if my water had broken and when I told her no she didn’t act too concerned with my progression of labour. She told me that she would phone the other midwife on-call and see if she could get someone out to me and that she’d call me back soon. I hung up the phone and started to get some tea, coffee, and some breakfast bars out for the midwives who would come. After I had done that I turned on our water heater, and then told my husband that he might need to fill up the birth pool soon. Then the phone rang. The lady on the other end explained that there wasn’t a midwife available at the moment to come out to my house so they wanted me to come in to the hospital be assessed.
I. Was. Devastated. I hadn’t packed my hospital bag. I hadn’t packed any outfits for the baby. I hadn’t installed the car seat. I wasn’t planning on driving to the hospital. I know I should’ve had all this ready, just in case, but I didn’t.
I was crying and trying to pack my bags when my husband stopped me and said, “Do you really think you’re in labour?”
I feel sorry for the husbands. I really do. It’s like the boy who cried “wolf” except it’s the pregnant lady who cried “it’s baby time”. I knew it was not false labour this time but I still didn’t know how long or fast I would be in labour. My husband could see I was exhausted so he then bravely suggested I take a shower to which I agreed. After my shower, my contractions had slowed down but had not stopped. I then called the midwife unit to tell them that they had slowed down and I was going to wait to come in and lay down to get some rest. They told me to keep them updated.
I laid down to go to sleep then my phone rang. It was the midwife. She said she was able to come out and assess me. I felt so much relief in hearing her words. I didn’t have to drive 40 min out of the way and wait to be assessed. I was going to get some rest and she was going to come to my home.
I slept a little, she came and assessed me and told me to try to get some more rest before things got more intense. She was a very relaxed and calm personality and I loved that. She said she’d stay on call the rest of the day and evening so I could have her for my midwife if I had the baby that day.
I went back upstairs to get more rest. I woke up every 7 to 8 min with hard and long contractions, so much so, that they started to make me shake. I breathed through them and dozed off into sleep again and again. It was enough rest in between each contraction to get in two hours of sleep.
About 1 pm, I came downstairs and sat on my exercise ball for a while and ate some food. My mom was watching the girls playing outside. When I got up and off the ball I felt a heavy pressure on my bottom. I felt like I had to poo. I knew that feeling from before. The baby had come down and was putting pressure on my bum. I phoned the midwife and they told me they were on their way. Around 2:30 pm, my husband started to fill up the pool and I got in it while FaceTiming my sister. I had my diffuser on, my music playing on the computer, and the fairy lights on. The water immediately took the pressure off and I felt great. As soon as a contraction hit I felt it but it didn’t feel as hard as when I was out of the water. I leaned over the pool, grabbed the handles and breathed through it.
The midwives arrived at 3 pm and took my blood pressure, listened to baby’s heartbeat through a waterproof monitor and took my temperature and pulse. I had two contractions during then and breathed through them. In between each contraction, my husband and I talked with the midwives. I felt so calm in between that I thought it might be a while before I actually gave birth.
At 4 pm I felt a strong ache and surge of pressure and knew that the baby was coming down. I leaned over the pool's edge and gave a long push in which my water broke. I took some short frantic breaths and the midwives and my husband assured me I was doing great and to relax and take long deep breaths. I could feel the top of her head with my hand. With the next contraction and a loud yell, I pushed out her head. Then, at my request, the midwives helped me lean back and with the next contraction I pushed the rest of her out. The cord was wrapped around her neck two times so the midwives quickly turned her, unwrapped it and laid her on my chest.
It was amazing. It was surreal. She was so calm and relaxed in the water on my chest. Instead of screaming she was falling asleep and snoring. My girls and my mom came in to meet her while we were still in the pool. They were delighted to meet their new baby sister. Afterwards, I got out of the pool to deliver the placenta. After some skin to skin and snuggle time, they weighed baby Gracelyn and she was 9lbs 7oz.
My midwives were amazing. They were professional, helpful, encouraging and very kind. I’m sure the birthing pools and rooms at the hospital were nice but I’m glad they were able to come and I got to have my water birth at home.
I wasn’t always pro homebirth. I had two born with inductions and epidurals in a hospital; and now I have had two born at home. Everyone is different and has different preferences and needs. I have prayed before each of my daughter’s births that God would give us wisdom in the whole process. Home births have been perfect for us and if I have any more children I’d like to have them at home as well.
Captions for the pics in order:
1. Labour Day
2. Moments after she was born 3. Sleeping peacefully
4. Me, Daddy, and Baby
5. The girls meeting their new sister
6. She weighed 4.43 kilograms = 9 lbs 7 1/2 oz
7. The midwives
8. The first frame was taken exactly 24 hrs before I gave birth. 4:10 pm
